Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship And How To Survive!

Well look on the bright side, the chances of surviving infidelity are good! If it's all over, If it is final, one day soon the pain will go, but there are ways to keep the relationship alive, surviving marital infidelity is never easy and there are tough times ahead, but it is very possible.

The article below deals with surviving infidelity and even after finding signs of cheating in a relationship, how you can still make a relationship flourish and boom.

Dealing with Infidelity - How to Keep Your Relationship

Infidelity is a common issue in relationships. After a few years with the same person, it happens a lot that one of the relationship partners is having affair. The survival of the relationship depends on the way you handle this crisis.

Infidelity can cause tears, anger and heartbreak. It can also lead to separation and divorce. However, dealing with infidelity with the result that it strengthens your relationship is also possible. When one partner cheats, it could be for any one of several reasons. The cheating partner might have been feeling neglected or ignored. There might have been a lack of intimacy in the marriage or an excess of alcohol one night. These things to happen and if you know how to deal with infidelity, there is a chance to work things out rather than throw everything away over one mistake.

The first thing to do is to make sure you know whether your spouse is cheating or not. You might have a "hunch" about it but this isn't proof! Just because your partner doesn't seem interested in you any more is not proof of an affair. He or she might be tired, stressed at work or have another reason for their lack of interest in bed. If your partner is cheating, they will be thinking a lot about the affair, which distracts them. They might keep their cellphone turned off or on mute. A mysterious second cellphone can also be a sign. Your partner might be away from home a lot with a variety of excuses or always "working late" but not actually in the office when you phone. You could ask your partner straight out. Depending on how good they are at lying and how they feel can give the game away too. Some people even admit to an affair if they are questioned directly.

If you find out for sure that your partner has been cheating, you will probably want to shout, scream, tell the world, pack their bags and throw them out. How to deal with infidelity does vary from person to person, but knowing it is possible to recover from this blow can help you to work through it. Communication is vital and if you feel unable to talk about it, you might want to consult a marriage counselor. It can take years to rebuild the broken trust so plenty of reassurance is vital, as is changing your routines or trying to work out what was missing in your marriage. If both of you want to get over the episode of infidelity, the chances of doing so are obviously much better.

Once you are getting back on track from infidelity, you need to recover and move on with your relationship. You will obviously want to ensure it doesn't happen again. The best way of dealing with infidelity is to discover the reason behind it. If your partner admits to feeling neglected, try to spend more time together. If the reason was a lack of intimacy in your own relationship, try to work on this together. Don't throw blame at your partner every time something goes wrong. They are probably feeling guilty enough already. Remember all the things that brought you together in the first place and try to recreate some of that magic.

Knowing how to deal with infidelity can make the difference between a renewed, stronger relationship and divorce. Once you have discovered your partner's infidelity it is bound to be difficult but by focusing on saving and improving what you have together, you might be able to put the cheating behind you and move on with your relationship and your lives together.

Dan Weber is a dating and relationship expert. You can find his experiences posted at the dealing with infidelity website. Just follow along as he posts his thoughts about the subject, and learn how to apply them to your life.

By Dan Weber
Published: 1/29/2008

signs of a cheating spouse
Michael

Healing from the Affair and Marital Infidelity

An article on surviving infidelity titled ~ Healing from the Affair and Marital Infidelity: Use Charging Neutral by surviving infidelity expert Rob Goldsmith

Coping with an affair or infidelity leaves one in a new world - usually a world of pain, uncertainty and fear and helplessness.

To move beyond merely surviving the affair to begin changing the flow of the affair and initiate healing, one can use a skill called "charging neutral."

Charging neutral denotes a non-reactivity to one's spouse. It demands one remaining calm and centered.

Though initially difficult to master, it's results can be powerful.

In this example, the woman used email as a tool to expedite charging neutral:

My husband had an affair last year. Unfortunately they produced a child, which is now used as an excuse for keeping in contact with the other woman. Thankfully we moved to another city , so his contact with her is mainly via sms and mail.The charging neutral technique I use mainly via email, when I discuss the affair. I am calmer and have more time to word things correctly . When I re-read what I have written, I see things more objectively, and sometimes I need to amend the wording, so its not so insulting. Also it feels good to know he is reading all that is on my mind. I feel heard. One day I will be ready to speak about the affair calmly. In truth my husband also prefers the email route. As we are now able to touch on the affair topic via email, we can now discuss day to day happenings (which we have not been able to do) without the pressure of of all the unsaid horrors.

This man uses charging neutral but refusing to react to her reactions. This puts him in control of his feelings and actions, which is empowering:


OKay.. what has been effective has been two things together, charging neutral and otherwise largely ignoring my wife. Not speaking to her unless I have to, but when I do charging very very neutral. When she starts to get a sense of what things would be like without me in her life, she starts to reengage. I would say her affair is a little bit of 'my marriage made me do it' but more centrally 'i want to be desired'.

Charging neutral gives much freedom to confront the spouse or partner and begin the healing process. Notice the power that this man feels in confronting his wife constructively:

Charging neutral is more difficult and more effective than one initially thinks. When an opportunity comes up saying something to my cheating wife in a charge neutral way kind of confuses her. It kind of puts me in control of the conversation because my wife cannot do anything but listen. She is not spending her time trying to think up her next hostile line (or in my case, lie.) To me the difficult part of charging neutral is being able to do it consistently. When I most want to bash her (which is hourly) I try to remember to charge neutral. When the words come out with just the right tone, I think... "Man, that was good!" The other nice part about charging neutral is, you say just about anything. At times I can really blitz her and with the right tone and non-verbal communication - she almost agrees with me.

Charging neutral is quietly powerful. Many have been set on the healing path by experimenting with and utilizing this powerful skill.

About the Author

Rob Goldsmith is a relationship expert with clinical experience, research and study in the arena of personal relationships, specializing in infidelity and extramarital affairs. Get more information regarding healing from the affair.

surviving infidelity