Surviving Infidelity
A good surviving infidelity article, I hope it helps, it's called, Forgiveness For Committing Adultery by Terry Ross.
Michael
Main article
Very few people get through life without having been hurt by a friend, a partner or a member of their family. In fact it is almost impossible to avoid the inevitable thoughtless remark, the misunderstandings, the disregard for people's feelings and general disagreements, but some things are far harder to recover from than most with infidelity being near the top of the list. Many of us get hurt by the smaller things, even from the unintentional and forgiveness for such indiscretions is usually quite swift but forgiveness for committing adultery isn't so easy.
Surviving infidelity is one of the hardest things anyone has to do and the sheer thought of actually offering 'forgiveness for committing adultery' is in complete opposition to the hurt and the pain and the immense hatred of the cheating spouse.
It is so easy to stay angry, to get wound up in those early feelings of betrayal and to hold on to the pain but the easiest way of surviving infidelity is to move on and learning to forgive your partner is a way to heal.
In offering forgiveness for committing adultery your partner's behaviour can no longer cause you anger, you can let go of the hurt, the pain and the feelings of betrayal and start moving on with your life.
Anger is destructive, an emotion that can eat you up and destroy your life, learning to forgive and let go is a way to help you and not an easy way out for your partner. Forgiveness enables you to let go of all those feelings, it doesn't mean you won't ever remember what has happened, won't remember the pain, it isn't about the difference between right and wrong or that you are accepting the behaviour of your partner. It's about healing your self, learning from the experience, dealing with it and in so doing enabling you to move on.
In learning to forgive your partner for committing adultery you are not in any way indicating that your relationship can continue, you are not saying that their behaviour was acceptable and you are not saying that you are prepared to carry on the way things are. In forgiveness for committing adultery comes the ability to make the choice, decide whether you want to try and save your marriage or move on with your life without your cheating spouse.
It is often easier not to have to think about the future, about how you are going to recover from infidelity but as time goes by those feelings of hurt and betrayal will become harder to bear. It is easier to try and forget, try and not have to deal with reality but at some point you have to stop, start thinking about the situation, try and see it from your partner's point of view, try and understand what happened, why it happened and where you go from here.
Blame is not the answer, you can't blame your partner or yourself, you have to look beyond the blame, beyond the mixed up emotions and start taking control of your life. Try and understand that we are all human and that we all make mistakes but unfortunately some mistakes are greater than others. Not everything we do is intentional, some things just happen, not an excuse but a fact.
Look at your relationship, think about how things were in the past and decide if it's worth fighting for. Look at the positives, remember all the things you used to do together which you enjoyed, would going back to basics, starting again enable you to save your marriage. Consider what part you had to play in the indiscretion, was there a problem with your relationship that neither of you, had tried to, or been able to fix, were things at home just not working well, was there something you could have both done that much better. Quite often infidelity is as a result of marriage problems, not always but often. Again it is no excuse for the actions of your partner, their responsibilities lay in making you aware of how bad things were and not just jumping into some one else's bed but it might help you understand why and help you move ever closer to forgiveness 'for committing adultery' and start the healing process.
About the Author
For more advice on infidelity and other marriage problems please visit my websites: Save your Marriage, Common Marriage Problems
Surviving Infidelity
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Surviving Infidelity
Surviving Infidelity
I have a good article for you today, Getting Over A Break Up by Richard MacKenzie, but first,
Has the cheating already happened, or do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Michael Thomas
Surviving Infidelity
main article
Getting Over A Break Up
To anyone that's been through one (and that's probably most), a break up in a relationship and be catastrophic. Some sufferers even feel that it is the 'End of the World'. If you haven't ever had a bad relationship break up like this then you could probably sympathise with someone that has. In a lot of cases and even if the split was amicable, one or both parties can go through that same type of grief as bereavement would cause.
Break ups tend to occur for many reasons such as - infidelity, unsatisfied sex life, jealousy and so much more. In some cases, things that cause break ups can be taken into any new relationships, causing it to be doomed from the start. However this need not happen. Any person going through a break up can now get the help that they need and deserve to get their life back on track.
Research proves that divorce rates around the world have gone higher, and so has the number of heartaches, and break-downs. To address the negative emotions caused by a break-up, Hypnotherapy could be the only answer.
Break-ups can be ugly, and break-ups can be heart breaking. Break-ups can be devastating and break-ups can be tragic. But in all this emotional turmoil, how do you find yourself reacting? Do you view this event as the end of the world, or can you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on? Do you find yourself drowning yourself in your sorrow, or do you find yourself getting wiser from the experience. It's all a matter of perspective, but it is entirely possible to not lose hope and stay positive even when faced with troublesome times like a break-up or a divorce.
With a step-by-step hypnosis program you too can work towards a future, a future which you've always wanted but never could dream of achieving after your separation. Remember there is more to life than crying over a break-up. The only way to get out of a relationship is with one's head held high...and it's time you felt it for yourself.
With hypnosis you will be amazed just how quickly you see the benefits.
So why will it work? Because it prevents you from falling down like a house of cards. Because it helps you sustain your life force by bringing positivity into your outlook. Because it helps you nurture hope, which can be your sole means of surviving through this pain.
about the author
Richard MacKenzie is a leading professional in the field of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy. He also has a great range of Hypnosis Downloads at his site.
I hope you found the article helpful
Michael
Surviving Infidelity
I have a good article for you today, Getting Over A Break Up by Richard MacKenzie, but first,
Has the cheating already happened, or do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Michael Thomas
Surviving Infidelity
main article
Getting Over A Break Up
To anyone that's been through one (and that's probably most), a break up in a relationship and be catastrophic. Some sufferers even feel that it is the 'End of the World'. If you haven't ever had a bad relationship break up like this then you could probably sympathise with someone that has. In a lot of cases and even if the split was amicable, one or both parties can go through that same type of grief as bereavement would cause.
Break ups tend to occur for many reasons such as - infidelity, unsatisfied sex life, jealousy and so much more. In some cases, things that cause break ups can be taken into any new relationships, causing it to be doomed from the start. However this need not happen. Any person going through a break up can now get the help that they need and deserve to get their life back on track.
Research proves that divorce rates around the world have gone higher, and so has the number of heartaches, and break-downs. To address the negative emotions caused by a break-up, Hypnotherapy could be the only answer.
Break-ups can be ugly, and break-ups can be heart breaking. Break-ups can be devastating and break-ups can be tragic. But in all this emotional turmoil, how do you find yourself reacting? Do you view this event as the end of the world, or can you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on? Do you find yourself drowning yourself in your sorrow, or do you find yourself getting wiser from the experience. It's all a matter of perspective, but it is entirely possible to not lose hope and stay positive even when faced with troublesome times like a break-up or a divorce.
With a step-by-step hypnosis program you too can work towards a future, a future which you've always wanted but never could dream of achieving after your separation. Remember there is more to life than crying over a break-up. The only way to get out of a relationship is with one's head held high...and it's time you felt it for yourself.
With hypnosis you will be amazed just how quickly you see the benefits.
So why will it work? Because it prevents you from falling down like a house of cards. Because it helps you sustain your life force by bringing positivity into your outlook. Because it helps you nurture hope, which can be your sole means of surviving through this pain.
about the author
Richard MacKenzie is a leading professional in the field of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy. He also has a great range of Hypnosis Downloads at his site.
I hope you found the article helpful
Michael
Surviving Infidelity
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Surviving Infidelity
Surviving Infidelity
Do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Michael Thomas
Surviving Infidelity
Below is a great article, Getting Over A Break Up by Richard MacKenzie
Main article
Getting Over A Break Up
To anyone that's been through one (and that's probably most), a break up in a relationship and be catastrophic. Some sufferers even feel that it is the 'End of the World'. If you haven't ever had a bad relationship break up like this then you could probably sympathise with someone that has. In a lot of cases and even if the split was amicable, one or both parties can go through that same type of grief as bereavement would cause.
Break ups tend to occur for many reasons such as - infidelity, unsatisfied sex life, jealousy and so much more. In some cases, things that cause break ups can be taken into any new relationships, causing it to be doomed from the start. However this need not happen. Any person going through a break up can now get the help that they need and deserve to get their life back on track.
Research proves that divorce rates around the world have gone higher, and so has the number of heartaches, and break-downs. To address the negative emotions caused by a break-up, Hypnotherapy could be the only answer.
Break-ups can be ugly, and break-ups can be heart breaking. Break-ups can be devastating and break-ups can be tragic. But in all this emotional turmoil, how do you find yourself reacting? Do you view this event as the end of the world, or can you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on? Do you find yourself drowning yourself in your sorrow, or do you find yourself getting wiser from the experience. It's all a matter of perspective, but it is entirely possible to not lose hope and stay positive even when faced with troublesome times like a break-up or a divorce.
With a step-by-step hypnosis program you too can work towards a future, a future which you've always wanted but never could dream of achieving after your separation. Remember there is more to life than crying over a break-up. The only way to get out of a relationship is with one's head held high...and it's time you felt it for yourself.
With hypnosis you will be amazed just how quickly you see the benefits.
So why will it work? Because it prevents you from falling down like a house of cards. Because it helps you sustain your life force by bringing positivity into your outlook. Because it helps you nurture hope, which can be your sole means of surviving through this pain.
about the author
Richard MacKenzie is a leading professional in the field of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy. He also has a great range of Hypnosis Downloads at his site.
Do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Michael Thomas
Surviving Infidelity
Below is a great article, Getting Over A Break Up by Richard MacKenzie
Main article
Getting Over A Break Up
To anyone that's been through one (and that's probably most), a break up in a relationship and be catastrophic. Some sufferers even feel that it is the 'End of the World'. If you haven't ever had a bad relationship break up like this then you could probably sympathise with someone that has. In a lot of cases and even if the split was amicable, one or both parties can go through that same type of grief as bereavement would cause.
Break ups tend to occur for many reasons such as - infidelity, unsatisfied sex life, jealousy and so much more. In some cases, things that cause break ups can be taken into any new relationships, causing it to be doomed from the start. However this need not happen. Any person going through a break up can now get the help that they need and deserve to get their life back on track.
Research proves that divorce rates around the world have gone higher, and so has the number of heartaches, and break-downs. To address the negative emotions caused by a break-up, Hypnotherapy could be the only answer.
Break-ups can be ugly, and break-ups can be heart breaking. Break-ups can be devastating and break-ups can be tragic. But in all this emotional turmoil, how do you find yourself reacting? Do you view this event as the end of the world, or can you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on? Do you find yourself drowning yourself in your sorrow, or do you find yourself getting wiser from the experience. It's all a matter of perspective, but it is entirely possible to not lose hope and stay positive even when faced with troublesome times like a break-up or a divorce.
With a step-by-step hypnosis program you too can work towards a future, a future which you've always wanted but never could dream of achieving after your separation. Remember there is more to life than crying over a break-up. The only way to get out of a relationship is with one's head held high...and it's time you felt it for yourself.
With hypnosis you will be amazed just how quickly you see the benefits.
So why will it work? Because it prevents you from falling down like a house of cards. Because it helps you sustain your life force by bringing positivity into your outlook. Because it helps you nurture hope, which can be your sole means of surviving through this pain.
about the author
Richard MacKenzie is a leading professional in the field of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy. He also has a great range of Hypnosis Downloads at his site.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Surviving Infidelity
There are many signs of infidelity, in the article below there are the 20 top signs of a cheating spouse.
Everybody is concerned with catching a cheating husband or a cheating wife and that's good, but once it's happened, then what? Surviving infidelity is a major event and shouldn't be taken lightly.
Michael
Surviving Infidelity
Article
Warning signs of infidelity can take many forms but if you know which signs to look for, it can make this difficult investigative journey a bit easier and definitely less expensive than hiring a private investigator. Infidelity can take many forms but usually begins as emotional infidelity and then progresses to sexual infidelity. A person's gut instinct is usually right, but if you notice any of the below top 20 warning signs of infidelity, the likelihood of your partner cheating becomes even more so. If you discover infidelity, be prepared with a master plan of action. Surviving infidelity is just as difficult as the discovery so make sure that you have a master plan of action as to how you will cope if infidelity is discovered.
Watch for the following top 20 infidelity signs:
1. Cheating spouse spends more time away from home. The cheater needs to spend more time with his love interest so they must make up more excuses to be away such as working late, unexplained errands and increased travel.
2. Cheating husband or wife has noticeable cell phone habit changes. The cheater doesn't answer their phone around you, turns the ringer off or takes longer than usual to call you back. If you have access to the cheating partner's cell phone bill, check for calls made during odd times or of long duration.
3. Cheater's clothes smell of alcohol, smoke, perfume or cologne.
4. Cheating spouse clears his computer history, utilizes free email accounts such as gmail, yahoo, hotmail, etc..., spends odd hours or unusually long times on the computer, changes screen display when you enter the room.
5. Cheater is not interested in sex as much.
6. Cheating husband or wife is unusually defensive or starts ignoring you.
7. Cheating spouse starts using cash more often.
8. Cheating spouse suddenly starts doing their own laundry or dropping off their own dry cleaning.
9. Cheating spouse has higher than usual car mileage.
10. Cheating husband or wife wants to travel and attend functions alone
11. Cheater has unexplained receipts in their car, wallet or desk.
12. Cheating spouse suddenly joins a gym, changes diet, gets a new hair style, starts visiting tanning salon, buys new clothes and/or lingerie.
13. They begin bathing or showering more frequently.
14. Cheating husband or wife asks about your schedule more often than usual.
15. Cheating spouse stops cuddling, kissing or holding hands.
16. Cheater may have new or unusual sexual requests.
17. Cheating spouse is always "too tired" for you.
18. The lose interest in domestic activities such as spending time with the kids, doing chores, etc... because they need this time for their affair.
19. Cheating husband or wife becomes unusually nice, brings you more gifts than usual and is more affectionate because of guilt feelings and time spent away.
20. Cheater starts finding fault in everything you do to justify the affair in their mind.
The discovery of infidelity does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Many couples have survived infidelity. If both partners still value the relationship and are willing to work at saving it through counseling, daily effort and increased communication, the chances of surviving infidelity become much greater.
The Author - Stephany Alexander is a relationship expert and CEO/Founder of WomanSavers.com - The World's Largest Database Rating Men. She holds a degree in Communications and is the author of the book Sex, Lies and the Internet
Everybody is concerned with catching a cheating husband or a cheating wife and that's good, but once it's happened, then what? Surviving infidelity is a major event and shouldn't be taken lightly.
Michael
Surviving Infidelity
Article
Warning signs of infidelity can take many forms but if you know which signs to look for, it can make this difficult investigative journey a bit easier and definitely less expensive than hiring a private investigator. Infidelity can take many forms but usually begins as emotional infidelity and then progresses to sexual infidelity. A person's gut instinct is usually right, but if you notice any of the below top 20 warning signs of infidelity, the likelihood of your partner cheating becomes even more so. If you discover infidelity, be prepared with a master plan of action. Surviving infidelity is just as difficult as the discovery so make sure that you have a master plan of action as to how you will cope if infidelity is discovered.
Watch for the following top 20 infidelity signs:
1. Cheating spouse spends more time away from home. The cheater needs to spend more time with his love interest so they must make up more excuses to be away such as working late, unexplained errands and increased travel.
2. Cheating husband or wife has noticeable cell phone habit changes. The cheater doesn't answer their phone around you, turns the ringer off or takes longer than usual to call you back. If you have access to the cheating partner's cell phone bill, check for calls made during odd times or of long duration.
3. Cheater's clothes smell of alcohol, smoke, perfume or cologne.
4. Cheating spouse clears his computer history, utilizes free email accounts such as gmail, yahoo, hotmail, etc..., spends odd hours or unusually long times on the computer, changes screen display when you enter the room.
5. Cheater is not interested in sex as much.
6. Cheating husband or wife is unusually defensive or starts ignoring you.
7. Cheating spouse starts using cash more often.
8. Cheating spouse suddenly starts doing their own laundry or dropping off their own dry cleaning.
9. Cheating spouse has higher than usual car mileage.
10. Cheating husband or wife wants to travel and attend functions alone
11. Cheater has unexplained receipts in their car, wallet or desk.
12. Cheating spouse suddenly joins a gym, changes diet, gets a new hair style, starts visiting tanning salon, buys new clothes and/or lingerie.
13. They begin bathing or showering more frequently.
14. Cheating husband or wife asks about your schedule more often than usual.
15. Cheating spouse stops cuddling, kissing or holding hands.
16. Cheater may have new or unusual sexual requests.
17. Cheating spouse is always "too tired" for you.
18. The lose interest in domestic activities such as spending time with the kids, doing chores, etc... because they need this time for their affair.
19. Cheating husband or wife becomes unusually nice, brings you more gifts than usual and is more affectionate because of guilt feelings and time spent away.
20. Cheater starts finding fault in everything you do to justify the affair in their mind.
The discovery of infidelity does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Many couples have survived infidelity. If both partners still value the relationship and are willing to work at saving it through counseling, daily effort and increased communication, the chances of surviving infidelity become much greater.
The Author - Stephany Alexander is a relationship expert and CEO/Founder of WomanSavers.com - The World's Largest Database Rating Men. She holds a degree in Communications and is the author of the book Sex, Lies and the Internet
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Marital Infidelity Recovery: 6 Reason NOT to Work on the Marriage
An extremely interesting article by infidelity expert, Dr. Robert Huizenga. The article covers, working on the relationship after an infidelity episode.
I often explain that "polarized couples" (one wants to 'talk it through' and the other hopes it 'goes away' for example) find their marriage grinding to a halt when they believe they must "work on the relationship?'
Here are some difficulties typically experienced when a couple commits to "working on the relationship:"
1. "Working on the relationship" often implies that each "should or must" act, feel and think particular ways to make their efforts successful. A "should" sets one up for failure and disappointment, for no one ever fully acts, thinks for feels as they "should." An atmosphere of effort and grinding it out permeates the couple. And, each holds his/her breath, as they both believe that failure follows the next interaction. Talk about pressure! I assume you want a different environment created in your relationship.
2. "Working on the relationship" for a huge percentage of the couples I encounter means being "nice," accommodating the other and being on your best behavior. Conflict is seen as a catastrophe. Such a strategy, in essence, obscures and clouds the truth. The truth, which sets a couple free, is relegated to the background and buried under the surface.
3. "Working on the Relationship" often means trying to find a "middle ground." There must be "something in common" that holds the couple together and make it better. Well, maybe there isn't any "common ground!" And, just maybe that is good. Perhaps the differences, the extremes, give the couple fire and passion and create, together, that which each, at one level, is looking for.
4. "Working on the relationship" often means working hard to meet the needs of the other. I "sacrifice" my needs, or at least put them on the back burner, and intentionally go about "making my partner happy" by attending to his/her needs. This may work for a period of time but resentment at some point emerges since one or both believe that the need meeting is not being reciprocated to the degree he/she would like.
5. "Working on the relationship" often is thwarted because there is not enough depth. Individual differences are not pursued with a curiosity and intensity that allows for maximum growth of the individual and therefore couple. "Issues" are not torn apart, looked at, marveled at, appreciated and seen as a resource for further self exploration and self disclosure.
6. "Working on the relationship" often comes up short because a couple easily reverts to old patterns. They begin to "swirl" in the old communication patterns and ways of thinking, feeling and acting. When lacking adequate exploration of differences and avoiding conflict the couple easily slides back into that which was familiar, not pleasant or comfortable, but certainly known territory.
I'm assuming you don't merely want to "work on" the relationship, but you want a total overhaul. After all, the infidelity crisis does provide a great opportunity to recreate and redesign the relationship, now that you are wiser.
About the Author
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
I often explain that "polarized couples" (one wants to 'talk it through' and the other hopes it 'goes away' for example) find their marriage grinding to a halt when they believe they must "work on the relationship?'
Here are some difficulties typically experienced when a couple commits to "working on the relationship:"
1. "Working on the relationship" often implies that each "should or must" act, feel and think particular ways to make their efforts successful. A "should" sets one up for failure and disappointment, for no one ever fully acts, thinks for feels as they "should." An atmosphere of effort and grinding it out permeates the couple. And, each holds his/her breath, as they both believe that failure follows the next interaction. Talk about pressure! I assume you want a different environment created in your relationship.
2. "Working on the relationship" for a huge percentage of the couples I encounter means being "nice," accommodating the other and being on your best behavior. Conflict is seen as a catastrophe. Such a strategy, in essence, obscures and clouds the truth. The truth, which sets a couple free, is relegated to the background and buried under the surface.
3. "Working on the Relationship" often means trying to find a "middle ground." There must be "something in common" that holds the couple together and make it better. Well, maybe there isn't any "common ground!" And, just maybe that is good. Perhaps the differences, the extremes, give the couple fire and passion and create, together, that which each, at one level, is looking for.
4. "Working on the relationship" often means working hard to meet the needs of the other. I "sacrifice" my needs, or at least put them on the back burner, and intentionally go about "making my partner happy" by attending to his/her needs. This may work for a period of time but resentment at some point emerges since one or both believe that the need meeting is not being reciprocated to the degree he/she would like.
5. "Working on the relationship" often is thwarted because there is not enough depth. Individual differences are not pursued with a curiosity and intensity that allows for maximum growth of the individual and therefore couple. "Issues" are not torn apart, looked at, marveled at, appreciated and seen as a resource for further self exploration and self disclosure.
6. "Working on the relationship" often comes up short because a couple easily reverts to old patterns. They begin to "swirl" in the old communication patterns and ways of thinking, feeling and acting. When lacking adequate exploration of differences and avoiding conflict the couple easily slides back into that which was familiar, not pleasant or comfortable, but certainly known territory.
I'm assuming you don't merely want to "work on" the relationship, but you want a total overhaul. After all, the infidelity crisis does provide a great opportunity to recreate and redesign the relationship, now that you are wiser.
About the Author
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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