Thursday, February 17, 2011

Survive Infidelity And Save Your Marriage!

A really great article on how to survive infidelity and save your marriage, you can do it. If you really want to.

How to Survive Infidelity in Marriage - 4 Tips to Get You Through

Did you just discover your spouse has been unfaithful? Are you afraid that nothing will be able to help you through this? Unfortunately, there are many people who have gone through the same situation. But, the good news is that it is possible to get through it and make your marriage stronger. If you are wondering how to survive infidelity in marriage, read on for some helpful tips.

Tip #1: Spend more time together. Often the cause of an affair starting in the first place is because partners don't spend enough time together, so one of them finds someone who will give them attention. Once the affair is over and you are working on surviving infidelity, make time to be with your spouse every week. This means time that is undivided - not when the kids are busy running around or the TV is on. Go out for dinner, do an activity together like when you were dating, or just sit and talk for an hour. Consider this time an investment into your relationship and schedule it into your planners so it's a priority and you don't forget.

Tip #2: Stop causing each other pain. Many couples are unaware that they are causing their spouse to be unhappy. If one or both of you are engaging in behaviors like dishonesty, being selfish or disrespectful, anger outbursts, or even have habits that annoy the other, it could be pulling you apart. When you are learning how to survive infidelity in marriage, you will both need to recognize and end these behaviors in yourself. Only when you stop causing each other pain, can you begin to make each other happy.

Tip #3: Be completely honest about everything. This is a tip that most people would agree with, but have a hard time putting into practice. They may think that a few white lies won't hurt anyone and may even protect the other one. However, dishonesty is not a solution that works in the long-term. Both of you have to be upfront and completely honest about all your feelings and emotions, your past actions, your daily activities, and your future plans and dreams. Only when ALL of these issues are out in the open can you begin to survive infidelity in marriage.

Tip #4: Meet your spouse's emotional needs. Each person has specific needs that must be fulfilled in order to be happy. When you were first in love, you probably worked really hard to meet each other's needs. But as time goes on in a marriage, we often neglect the other spouse's needs and focus on our own or our children's. When one spouse is feeling unhappy, they may look to get their needs met with someone else. After the affair has ended, each of you must work on focusing on what the other one needs emotionally. These may include affection, conversation, admiration, companionship, commitment to family, and sexual fulfillment. Have a conversation with your spouse about what their most important emotional needs are and then look for ways you can fill that need.

As you are beginning to learn how to survive infidelity in marriage, it is important that you receive the support you need. You may want to look into marital counseling, support groups, or even websites that will provide you with more information.

One great marriage resource can be found at this Surviving Infidelity [] page. It has many useful links to more information about surviving infidelity in marriage, as well as a FREE E-course, "7 Tips for Surviving Infidelity in Marriage" - just for visiting! Take advantage of this offer and visit Saving My Marriage [] Today!

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Friday, February 27, 2009

Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship And How To Survive!

Well look on the bright side, the chances of surviving infidelity are good! If it's all over, If it is final, one day soon the pain will go, but there are ways to keep the relationship alive, surviving marital infidelity is never easy and there are tough times ahead, but it is very possible.

The article below deals with surviving infidelity and even after finding signs of cheating in a relationship, how you can still make a relationship flourish and boom.

Dealing with Infidelity - How to Keep Your Relationship

Infidelity is a common issue in relationships. After a few years with the same person, it happens a lot that one of the relationship partners is having affair. The survival of the relationship depends on the way you handle this crisis.
Infidelity can cause tears, anger and heartbreak. It can also lead to separation and divorce. However, dealing with infidelity with the result that it strengthens your relationship is also possible. When one partner cheats, it could be for any one of several reasons. The cheating partner might have been feeling neglected or ignored. There might have been a lack of intimacy in the marriage or an excess of alcohol one night. These things to happen and if you know how to deal with infidelity, there is a chance to work things out rather than throw everything away over one mistake.

The first thing to do is to make sure you know whether your spouse is cheating or not. You might have a "hunch" about it but this isn't proof! Just because your partner doesn't seem interested in you any more is not proof of an affair. He or she might be tired, stressed at work or have another reason for their lack of interest in bed. If your partner is cheating, they will be thinking a lot about the affair, which distracts them. They might keep their cellphone turned off or on mute. A mysterious second cellphone can also be a sign. Your partner might be away from home a lot with a variety of excuses or always "working late" but not actually in the office when you phone. You could ask your partner straight out. Depending on how good they are at lying and how they feel can give the game away too. Some people even admit to an affair if they are questioned directly.

If you find out for sure that your partner has been cheating, you will probably want to shout, scream, tell the world, pack their bags and throw them out. How to deal with infidelity does vary from person to person, but knowing it is possible to recover from this blow can help you to work through it. Communication is vital and if you feel unable to talk about it, you might want to consult a marriage counselor. It can take years to rebuild the broken trust so plenty of reassurance is vital, as is changing your routines or trying to work out what was missing in your marriage. If both of you want to get over the episode of infidelity, the chances of doing so are obviously much better.

Once you are getting back on track from infidelity, you need to recover and move on with your relationship. You will obviously want to ensure it doesn't happen again. The best way of dealing with infidelity is to discover the reason behind it. If your partner admits to feeling neglected, try to spend more time together. If the reason was a lack of intimacy in your own relationship, try to work on this together. Don't throw blame at your partner every time something goes wrong. They are probably feeling guilty enough already. Remember all the things that brought you together in the first place and try to recreate some of that magic.

Knowing how to deal with infidelity can make the difference between a renewed, stronger relationship and divorce. Once you have discovered your partner's infidelity it is bound to be difficult but by focusing on saving and improving what you have together, you might be able to put the cheating behind you and move on with your relationship and your lives together.

Dan Weber is a dating and relationship expert. You can find his experiences posted at the dealing with infidelity website. Just follow along as he posts his thoughts about the subject, and learn how to apply them to your life.

By Dan Weber
Published: 1/29/2008

signs of a cheating spouse