How to Survive Infidelity in Marriage - 4 Tips to Get You Through
Did you just discover your spouse has been unfaithful? Are you afraid that nothing will be able to help you through this? Unfortunately, there are many people who have gone through the same situation. But, the good news is that it is possible to get through it and make your marriage stronger. If you are wondering how to survive infidelity in marriage, read on for some helpful tips.
Tip #1: Spend more time together. Often the cause of an affair starting in the first place is because partners don't spend enough time together, so one of them finds someone who will give them attention. Once the affair is over and you are working on surviving infidelity, make time to be with your spouse every week. This means time that is undivided - not when the kids are busy running around or the TV is on. Go out for dinner, do an activity together like when you were dating, or just sit and talk for an hour. Consider this time an investment into your relationship and schedule it into your planners so it's a priority and you don't forget.
Tip #2: Stop causing each other pain. Many couples are unaware that they are causing their spouse to be unhappy. If one or both of you are engaging in behaviors like dishonesty, being selfish or disrespectful, anger outbursts, or even have habits that annoy the other, it could be pulling you apart. When you are learning how to survive infidelity in marriage, you will both need to recognize and end these behaviors in yourself. Only when you stop causing each other pain, can you begin to make each other happy.
Tip #3: Be completely honest about everything. This is a tip that most people would agree with, but have a hard time putting into practice. They may think that a few white lies won't hurt anyone and may even protect the other one. However, dishonesty is not a solution that works in the long-term. Both of you have to be upfront and completely honest about all your feelings and emotions, your past actions, your daily activities, and your future plans and dreams. Only when ALL of these issues are out in the open can you begin to survive infidelity in marriage.
Tip #4: Meet your spouse's emotional needs. Each person has specific needs that must be fulfilled in order to be happy. When you were first in love, you probably worked really hard to meet each other's needs. But as time goes on in a marriage, we often neglect the other spouse's needs and focus on our own or our children's. When one spouse is feeling unhappy, they may look to get their needs met with someone else. After the affair has ended, each of you must work on focusing on what the other one needs emotionally. These may include affection, conversation, admiration, companionship, commitment to family, and sexual fulfillment. Have a conversation with your spouse about what their most important emotional needs are and then look for ways you can fill that need.
As you are beginning to learn how to survive infidelity in marriage, it is important that you receive the support you need. You may want to look into marital counseling, support groups, or even websites that will provide you with more information.
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